I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize