Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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