I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
