Welp...herpes.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize