Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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