I think I am morally bankrupt
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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