and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
How does one acquire holy water?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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