that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
