i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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