I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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