I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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