nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
