I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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