is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize
