hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
