Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
