oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
