After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Randomize