My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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