let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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