HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
