Walk of Shame. In a state park.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
