I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
