We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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