i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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