Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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