i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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