Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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