id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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