I wish i was in the wii world.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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