You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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