Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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