Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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