big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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