He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
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Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
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You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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