How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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