I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Your cock deserves a montage
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
