yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
