Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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