She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
