Where is the hickey?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
