dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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