Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize