hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
