Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
