As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
