I just cut my nipple shaving
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize