Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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