smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
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