I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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