i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
there's paper in my vomit.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize