Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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