I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
