I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
