This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
