my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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