my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
