i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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